When we feel deep gratitude, we can look back and see that our path to this moment was neither short nor simple.
Living Purely, Chapter 1, “The Keys of Freedom”
I am so grateful for the life I have, thanks to NA.” The speaker then paused for a moment, wiping away tears, before continuing: “Grateful for my supporter and the Steps… even for the bad things that happened along the way.
To a newcomer, experiencing gratitude from a member for "bad things" may sound absurd, overly virtuous, impossible, even undesirable. Why should we be thankful for our addiction, our mistakes, and our wrong decisions? Do we really need to feel gratitude for pain and loss in order to recover in NA?
Reviewing our past difficulties or current challenges with a deep sense of gratitude is not an easy road, nor a quick one. First, we rarely, if ever, begin our recovery journey with a clear and broad perspective on our lives. This doesn't just happen by staying abstinent and going to a few gatherings - and talking about being thankful. It takes effort, a lot of effort. We do the work of our steps in depth. We develop and learn to rely on a power greater than ourselves. We strive to apply spiritual principles to all our relationships. We practice forgiving others and ourselves. We make amends for our mistakes and find compassion for ourselves when we make them again. We constantly surrender to new difficulties and try to find the lesson in them.
"My flaws and mistakes are a part of who I am today," the speaker continued. "They are what inspire me to work to become a better person. My ability to overcome some of the worst moments of my life—bruised and battered but still clean—is a tremendous gift. I am grateful for this life."
Gratitude is not a destination. It is a realization and a process. Although we recovering addicts don't feel gratitude all the time, there are times when we feel it deeply. When we feel alone, we have learned what to do: help another person on their recovery journey.
Today I will do some work in order to learn from my mistakes and difficulties. I will try to be grateful for both the "bad things" and the good things.
