Maturity comes to us when we use spiritual principles, not flaws, to face reality.
Living Clean, Chapter 3, “Awakening Our Spirituality”
It took some pretty twisted survival skills to deny our active addiction. Some of us managed to live a life full of fantasies. Such fantasy thoughts have a nasty habit of following us into recovery. They resurface when we are unwilling to accept situations as they are or resist taking personal responsibility for our part in any problem.
When we are clean and awake, resistance to truth becomes painful. Through the process of working the Steps, we learn how to deal with everyday reality in a much less torturous way. Instead of resorting to the dirty tricks that helped us get through the days we used to, we begin to rely on spiritual principles to deal with life.
Growing pains are inevitable when we uncover the content of those old ways. Even before we learn to take our own inventory, a supporter or close friend can clearly point out some of our less desirable patterns of behavior as we do them. One member shared, “The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off!” Appreciating the people who hold us accountable is a sign of our new emotional maturity. These are the friends who help us grow in recovery.
We learn what we like and what annoys us. We learn what flaws are brought out in us under what circumstances and what spiritual principles we can apply instead. We develop a moral orientation as we incorporate spiritual principles into our daily lives. Instead of reacting to an upset boss or coworker defensively or angrily, for example, we take a moment to consider alternatives. When we respond thoughtfully, letting spiritual principles—rather than impulse—guide our behavior, we begin to feel like we are facing reality as mature human beings. We grow.
Today I will use the corresponding spiritual principles instead of my flaws, recognizing the benefits that maturity offers.
