There is a special feeling for drug addicts when they discover that there are other people who share their difficulties, past and present.
Core Text, Chapter 5, “What Can I Do?”
Many of us experienced a sense of solidarity with our drug-addicted friends early in our drug-taking careers. We found camaraderie as we plotted our next fix, our next heist, or our next conquest. We confided at least some of our secrets to a select few, and they relied on us to keep our dirt between us. However, there were limits to our devotion. In time, we would betray them or they would betray us.
The romantic version of our stories often focuses on those magical moments of solidarity with our current partners. If we follow the history of these relationships to their collapse, we may mistakenly conclude that these kinds of ties are a thing of the past or that we are still incapable of maintaining solidarity and close friendships. This reinforces our sense of isolation and alienation, making us vulnerable to unhelpful self-talk that can create a gap between us and our clean new friends. Once we recognize that recovery changes everything about our ability to connect, we are able to take a stand against this negative self-talk. Our previous sense of solidarity centered around drug use. Now solidarity springs from honest sharing and empathy, as well as the occasional story of hatting, conquest or war.
According to one member's experience: “I came feeling like I didn't belong, that I was so uniquely troubled. Then I heard the stories and realized that I had found my people". Solidarity is the spiritual opposite of isolation and self-centeredness. Although our circumstances, interests and ambitions are very different, we are connected emotionally and spiritually and stand by each other. We all have dreams and anxieties, we experience joy and sorrow, we want to be happy and to be forgiven, to love and be loved. And we don't have to face any of this alone. Over the years, countless supporters have offered this reassurance: "I can't fix your problems, but you won't have to deal with them alone." And, really, what more could we ask for?
To build solidarity with the members of the brotherhood, I will share my difficulties with someone who can help or with someone who may need help.
