Learning to make decisions for ourselves also means taking responsibility for those decisions.
Living Purely, Chapter 6, “Finding Our Place in the World”
We are not alone and we cannot recover alone. But our commitment to mutual support does not negate our independence or the responsibility that acquiring it—and maintaining it—requires. Even with all the good advice we give each other, our decisions about how we live are our own. And learning to live with those choices is a big deal in itself!
Some members define responsibility as the willingness to accept the consequences of our actions. Even clean, we must continue to learn the lesson that our choices are not made in a vacuum. They affect those around us. When we catch ourselves thinking once again that I'm only hurting myself, it's time for a closer look. We may need to exercise our freedom of choice with more awareness and care.
And other members say: "Be careful what you pray for - you might get it." Often, when we get what we want, it's a whole other responsibility situation to manage. A romantic relationship, getting our children back, a career, a fortune, a new puppy – these are all gifts that must be cared for and preserved. "We keep what we have only with vigilance" - but also with commitment, discipline, patience, acceptance, passion and lots of love.
Another aspect of taking responsibility for our independence is when we are inevitably confronted with other people's opinions about a new direction we choose. Sometimes an "I told you so" type of reaction we receive makes us cling even more defensively to a bad choice – or someone else's response prompts us to make a good choice. Blaming others gets us nowhere. Practicing independence requires an honest evaluation of our choices in the face of the reactions of others. We've also heard members say, "The more I make new mistakes instead of repeating old ones, the more I know I'm making progress in my life."
I do my best to live my life to the fullest and be responsible for my independence. I can live with my choices and if not I can make different ones!
