Even after many years in recovery, separating what we feel from what we think doesn't happen by itself. We need someone else's eyes and ears to figure it out.
Living Purely, Chapter 5, “Love Relationships: What We Ask”
Our relationships with other NA addicts can teach us a lot about how to care for the people in our lives. Most of us have warped ideas about how we show love, kindness, or concern for others when we get here. No matter what habits or hang-ups we come with, recovery improves our ability to care for others and let others care for us.
Having a supporter teaches us how to let others care for us. We have the opportunity to experience the genuineness and generosity of this proposal when we find a supporter that is right for us. Advocates often have the ability to balance compassion with honesty as they help us reconcile what's in our heads with what's in our hearts. We are given the opportunity to experience not being in control of how another person shows interest in us, which can unexpectedly be liberating. Accepting the help others offer, each in their own way, is a practice we can apply to all our relationships.
Likewise, showing concern for newcomers or the supported teaches us how to practice caring as a spiritual principle. Deep down, we know that we really want others to feel the hope and experience the freedom that we too have received in NA. When we care about younger members, it helps us to listen carefully and then share our relevant experience. We learn to do our best and leave the results to a power greater than ourselves. Instead of speaking our opinions at every break in the conversation, we practice our ability to listen carefully and with interest.
These lessons deeply strengthen our ability to develop and maintain loving relationships. We allow people to be there for us and we to be there for them.
Caring and being cared for is a skill I can constantly improve. I will practice, in my relationships, listening attentively and with interest.
