Faith in the process means believing that we are moving in the right direction, even if it is not the one we thought we would go.
Living Clean, Chapter 1, “From Despair to Passion”
On the day of our first NA meeting, we may have made predictions about what our lives would be like without drugs, but what if our dreams don’t come true? Despair has forced us to strive for something new, but what will that be? We now have choices in our lifestyle that we didn’t have before, but how do we know what the “right” path is and whether we are following our “true” life purpose? If we don’t have enough faith for the future, how can we gain more?
Whatever questions we have about finding our true purpose, the same crystal ball that didn’t work when we were high doesn’t work when we’re clean. Fortunately, more is revealed as we stay clean. Through the Steps, we discover our values and beliefs. For many of us, this means our purpose changes radically or that we finally find one. Recovery gives us the opportunity to reexamine goals that addiction interfered with, or to start over. Hope helps us believe that we’re on the right path, and faith guides our steps in that direction.
We find purpose (or many purposes, over time) in NA, in a career, in relationships, in our communities, on a mountaintop, in a foreign country, or in sitting still. We learn to serve others more than our own ego. We practice self-acceptance and offer it to younger members who think it is impossible to be okay with ourselves. Many of us also have—or are rediscovering and rekindling—our faith in a God who has a plan for us that we cannot foresee, fervently believing that this plan is better than anything we could create on our own. Others find purpose in a life governed by spiritual principles or believe that the universe is conspiring on our behalf, inspiring us. Faith in finding and living our purpose takes practice. Recovery in NA provides us with tools to manage our discomfort through trial and error, which is impossible without a sufficient amount of open-mindedness and willingness during the journey.
I can't predict the future, but I believe I can. I'll move in one direction and see where that path leads. It's worth staying alive to find out.
