Creative action is not a mysterious process, although it is an internal process of upgrading and reconstructing our disturbed and fragmented personality.
Pamphlet #5: Another Look, “Addiction is not a way of life”.
In active addiction there is chaos – physical, mental, emotional, spiritual disruption in life. There is not enough space on this page to list what we lose or risk losing while using: our health and well-being, our loved ones, our freedom, our minds and . . . our keys! We've all been through this.
We also lose ourselves. Which self? Exactly. In the rooms of Narcotics Anonymous, we often hear members say, "Out there, I was a chameleon." As long as we used, we changed our behavior and even our personality - from situation to situation - to satisfy our self-centered ends, to survive. This is definitely a masterful creativity.
As with all our flaws, if we flip the coin, there is an advantage on the other side. We can be both curious and adaptable but also manipulative and self-centered. By the same token, just as we used our creativity to survive, we can rely on it now to rebuild our lives from within.
When we are pure, efforts to create are not wasted on hiding who we are. We don't need to waste energy developing new strategies to get what we want at the cost of our mental health and everything else we have. Instead, we approach our recovery plan creatively and transform it when we need a reboot.
In the work of the Steps, we learn who we are, who we are not, and who we want to become. Through sharing and listening to other members, we can figure out what is broken within us, which parts can be glued back into reality and which can be thrown in the bin. As a result, we learn how to express who we are with integrity. We can be our true selves in our relationships with others – and in the ways we engage in work, interests, and service.
Some of us even find creative ways to locate the keys!
Today I will look at what is messy or broken inside me and use my imagination to identify what I could do to create some order and peace in my mind.
