When we treat a member as an idol rather than just another drug addict seeking recovery, we deny them the opportunity to experience the recovery they may desperately need.
Living Clean, Chapter 6, “Anonymity”
The principle of anonymity aims to provide all of us with a place to recover from our addiction today. Although the symptoms of our illness may not be as severe at the moment, we still need to participate in our recovery. NA is designed to be free from regimes or hierarchies that can separate us from each other – or from our relationship to our recovery.
But we don't implement anonymity perfectly. We may place our members on various pedestals: wise old member, conference speaker, service election winner, great supporter, the one with the perfect relationship or family or money or status outside of NA. Those of us who submit to the pedestal may end up sacrificing our needs because we feel like we shouldn't have them anymore. No thoughts of use or actions with defects! No complacency! Only gratitude and service! We must maintain the aura of perfection and defend NA at every opportunity. We dare not disappoint, so we do not share our pain and doubt. We end up having secrets and that puts us in danger.
And, frankly, sometimes we give people more credit than they deserve. Cleanliness does not necessarily equate to recovery. Some of us end up believing our self-promotion and thinking that the rules don't apply. We use our status as a shield or even a club. But we must resist standing idly by, possibly waiting for that huge ego to fall a notch. We have seen members of our brotherhood fall from their pedestals. Some have lost their lives in this fall.
Sometimes we have to get over ourselves! We don't have to participate in building and maintaining our pedestals - or anyone else's. No matter who we are or who others think we are, we need a willingness to share honestly, courage to call each other out, and an open mind when someone does. We can share pride in our successes while staying connected to where we come from. We need YES, even as we experience life's gifts, prosperity and fortune.
No matter what happens, I will remember that I need the message and the team. And I will make room to support any addict, regardless of who I think they are or should be.
