Simply staying put without checking our phone or opening up a side conversation can be surprisingly difficult, especially when we're having feelings we'd rather avoid.
The Principles that Guide Us, Tradition Six, Opening Text
The idea of a bunch of addicts sitting together in a room and behaving in a self-controlled manner sounds like the beginning of a bad joke, but hey, recovery in NA is full of miracles! It’s truly a feat that we are able to create and maintain an atmosphere of recovery, considering our individual and collective capacity to disengage. Many of us have to work extra hard to sit with even a modicum of stillness and patience—to simply be present—because of the way our brains work or, of course, how new we are. And yes, there are many tools and avenues that can distract us from our primary purpose in a gathering—our cell phones, other members, a noise outside, a technical glitch, a moment of boredom or overexcitement. Out of respect for the speaker, the newcomer, our team, and ourselves, we try to stay focused.
Showing restraint in this way is what is respectable.
There are other times when our breakdown is a sign of something deeper, and our tendency to deny or avoid our feelings is triggered. Identifying with a shared limb can be a wonderful moment of connection, but it can also make us want to crawl out of our skin. We addicts seem to be allergic to discomfort, and yet overcoming it often brings us to a place of deeper comfort – with ourselves and our surroundings. Glancing at our phone won’t do that for us. It helps to have some guidance here, as not all difficulties have the potential to be productive. We need a supporter and other trusted NA members to help us distinguish between a time when we need to restrain our desire to move and stay with our feeling – and when we need to respect our need to get out of a potentially harmful situation.
Self-control is a form of freedom. The freedom to “do” is also the freedom to “not do.” I will practice this today by not being rude or avoiding my feelings.
