When we can separate hope from wish or expectation, it stops being a trap.
Living Purely, Chapter 7, “Living Our Principles”
On the final weekend of the football season, it's common to hear fans utter a familiar saying: "It's the hope that kills you." Maybe it's smart to hold back our optimism if winning the championship is out of reach every year. Football fans know that a bad decision, a poor play or bad luck will crush any hopes.
In life, as in football, it can seem like we dare to dream dangerously. Few of us go through life without suffering a heartbreak or two. There may be times when we give up hope, effectively putting a tombstone on our ambitions. But this is no way to live. A broken heart has loved, after all.
Yes, hope can lead to disappointment, but it can also take us to new heights. "Hope is what keeps me going in the right direction. It makes me feel like I can do something to make my dreams come true," one member wrote. "Hope motivates me to persevere, to make an effort. Hoping but not doing the work? This is just a wish."
Of course, we may be moving in the right direction and still get caught off-track. Our predictions of what it takes to achieve a dream are not always accurate. Sometimes we get what we've worked and prayed for, only to find that we've missed it. Recovery can help us overcome all of this. We learn to survive our expectations and the emotions associated with them, not to be deprived of them. We allow ourselves to feel hope but also to tolerate disappointment or reorientation.
Hope is to dare to dream, to do the work with the steps and to step on our feet. No matter how it turns out, we are stronger, more resilient, even more optimistic for taking those risks.
Recovery gives me the courage to hope. I can take action and make an impact on the world around me. If things don't go the way I'd hoped—and if my team loses again—I'll deal with it.
