We often hear that "when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of change, then we will change." Our fear can prevent us from growing: we are afraid to end a relationship, to change professions, to join a group we have never been to before, to make new friendships, to dare to do something different. We stay longer than necessary in situations that no longer work because we feel safer with the familiar than with the unknown.
Any change requires overcoming our fear. At the thought of separation we may say: "What if I am alone forever?" When considering changing jobs we may wonder, "What if I eventually find out that I'm not qualified?" We may be hesitant to join a new group because we'll need to open up to people we don't know. Our minds come up with hundreds of excuses not to change anything at all because we are afraid to try something new.
We discover that most pain comes not from change per se, but from our own resistance to change. In NA we learn that in order to move forward in life we need to change. New friendships, new relationships, new interests and challenges will replace the old ones. With this renewal, will come new joys and people to love
