Apologizing may not be something new to many of us. During our use it may have been something we said quite often. We were always telling others how sorry we were for what we had done, and we might have been quite impressed when someone was tired of our meaningless apologies and told us to go where we came from. This may have been the first indication that an "I'm sorry" meant nothing to the people we had hurt, since we both knew full well that we would do the same again.
Many of us thought that making amends meant simply saying one more 'sorry'. But the Steps call us to do something completely different. To make amends we need to make changes and, above all, actually correct the damage we have caused. If we stole money we don't say "I'm sorry, I won't do it again now that I'm clean". We give back the money. If we have neglected or abused our own people, an apology is not enough. We start treating them with respect.
The main purpose of working the Steps is to change our behavior and the way we treat ourselves and others. We no longer just say sorry; we take responsibility.
