Applying this spiritual principle doesn't necessarily mean that others respect us; it means that we show others the respect we desire for ourselves and that we respect ourselves enough to walk with dignity and calm strength.
Guiding Principles, Eleventh Tradition, “Spiritual Principles”
The Eleventh Tradition—which seems to be about public relations, but can be applied to other aspects of recovery—reminds us that it is the NA message that is most important, not the messenger. Respect and anonymity are keys to deciphering the difference between “pull” and “push.” The opportunity to share NA’s message of hope outside the rooms of Narcotics Anonymous is a privilege for every member and a responsibility we should not take lightly. Whether it is a Public Relations activity, such as speaking to a group of doctors, serving on an N&I subcommittee, or helping explain NA to the family of a client who has just relapsed, we must resist the urge to make the message about us instead of NA. Instead of seeking respect for ourselves, we show our respect for the program—and for our listeners—by sharing the essentials of NA or the impact the program has had on our lives, while being truthful about what NA is and is not.
The same can be said for what happens in the rooms. We remain authentic whether we are talking one-on-one with a new member, speaking at a gathering (whether small and intimate or large and warm), or representing our region at the World Service Conference. These are times when our recovery is most effectively accompanied by the clarity of our message and the integrity of our role rather than by seeking attention or affirmation. There is no need to make exaggerated claims about our lives in recovery. And look, if we share at a large conference, we will receive attention and very likely affirmation! It is part of the process. Speaking with true humility and gratitude shows respect for NA and maintains our self-respect.
Yes, that's the main idea here: We show respect, rather than seek it. With that as our goal, we can walk with dignity. Keeping our self-promotion in check and walking with charm boosts our self-respect.
Whether it's Public Relations, relationships with drug addicts, or my relationship with myself, today I will try to show respect instead of seeking it.
