It is an act of love to let others love us.
Living Clean, Chapter 4, “Death, Dying, and Living with Mourning”
Our recovery allows us to accept love even when our lives are shattered by loss. The emotional pain makes this seem especially risky, but we take the risk, muster our courage, and lean on the members of the sisterhood. In times like these, we appreciate more and more all that recovery has to offer.
Too often, pride, low self-esteem and fear of rejection prevent us from reaching out or accepting help from others. Not wanting to be a burden or appear demanding, we isolate ourselves and tell ourselves that we can do it on our own. We think we will be a nuisance and deny others the opportunity to love, support and serve us. We are ashamed of our pain. It's uncomfortable and unpleasant to be so vulnerable. We hide behind the cloak of self-sufficiency and independence.
Of course, there is no right or wrong way to grieve. It's not unreasonable to want to spend some time alone with our thoughts and our Higher Power. Intense feelings of loss can make it difficult to find a balance between loneliness and isolation. We do our best to be honest with ourselves. Allowing others to love us when we are grieving helps us avoid the trap of old ideas.
Accepting love, whether gratefully or grudgingly, is itself an act of love. And the consequences often turn out to be amazing. "My best friend relapsed and passed away," one member shared. “I thought people didn't want to hear about how I felt, but after I shared it, I got so much love and support that it really renewed my faith in NA. That's why I'm clean today."
I will trust the process, feel the pain and allow others to feel it with me today. I will let others love me, even when I would rather they not.
